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Trust Betrayed: Can Infidelity be a One-Time Mistake or is ‘Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater’ True?

What do you do when you find out your partner has cheated on you? Or they’ve been lying about something? How do you rebuild trust? Can you rebuild trust?

All good relationships are built on some kind of trust and when that’s broken by one or both of the parties, it can be almost impossible to overcome. Almost impossible…

Dr Deirdre Tozer is a psychologist who specialises in supporting couples going through this kind of pretty much irretrievable breakdown crisis: infidelity (ongoing or one off), lying about money, lying about other things, gambling, constant arguments, all of it.

The difference between Dee and other relationship guidance counsellors is that she has a 90%+ success rate in rebuilding relationships and one of the reasons for that is that she doesn’t just sit the couples down together and have them talk through things, she speaks to them individually.

Key points:

  • 00:48 – How Dee’s counselling differs from ‘normal’ relationship counselling
  • 06:10 – Creating an Operating System for yourself and your relationship
  • 09:57 – The problem with most relationship counselling
  • 13:09 – Why there’s no ‘truth’ and why we shouldn’t change
  • 17:01 – Why people cheat
  • 21:55 – The seven different kinds of couples
  • 30:35 – The habit of reacting rather than responding
  • 33:00 – The problem with trying to sort out your relationship while you’re sitting next to each other in the counsellor’s office
  • 35:50 – Why “the glass on the sink” thing is more than just a comment about putting your dishes in the dishwasher
  • 40:55 – Is the saying “once a cheater, always a cheater” true?

About Today’s Guest: Dee Tozer

Couples Master Coach – self titled. Psychologist of over 30 years turned coach. Guided 5,000 couples to repair with a reported 90% success rate, 2,300 of these couples repaired after infidelity.

Dee Tozer is a world renowned couples psychologist and transformational relationship repair expert who is a master coach with a particular focus on couples in crisis.
Dee knows what makes great marriages work, and specifically what is the extra ingredient that makes them thrive! She uses these techniques to help a couple learn to reconnect in a healthier, more vital way that prevents nasty, expensive divorces and the hostilities between couples that ruin families. Couples themselves are often surprised at how fast they can repair their relationships through the right type of coaching (‘never thought it was possible to salvage or heal our relationship’ is a common saying by her couples.) <blockquote

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